Reflection Post

Revision Planning first Essay 

• What big concerns did you have about your draft as you completed the first draft?
  • My concerns are my thesis/ argument is not clear right from the top. Also that my paragraphs and quotes are not emphasizing my thesis. 
• What did your peers like most about your paper? Be specific, perhaps by quoting from one (or more) of the comments on your paper. Be sure to credit your peers!
  • Not a lot was great about my first draft. Kenzi Kimball was the only person to comment on my essay. She said in class that I had good quotes but need to utilize them to support my thesis instead of just having them. 
• Where are you working best with Dweck? What do your peers think you can do to improve on that section? You might quote from a peer, and give credit.
  • I found that Dweck’s work was ironic because her solution was promoting a fixed mindset. Kenzie talked about how it was hard to find my thesis and understand what my paper was about until the last few sentences. 
• Where are you working best with Lukianoff/Haidt? What do your peers think you can do to improve on that section? You might quote from a peer, and give credit.
  • My peers agree that I found L and H’s issue that we are teaching students to become hypersensitive to any uncomfortable situations. I found it ironic because I see Dweck’s learning solutions to kind of promote fixed mindsets. My peers said that I had good points but that I need to focus my ideas and evidence to help support and let the reader understand my argument. 
• According to your peers, what are your two biggest challenges in your work with the texts? How do you think you can address those challenges in your revision? If you need quotes or “evidence,” be specific about the text you should bring into a revision. If you need stronger explanations of your Dweck-Lukianoff/Haidt or Dweck-Lukianoff/Haidt relationships, be specific about what you need to explain. (Don’t re-write the paragraphs or sections for this homework. Rather, explain what you need to do.)
  • Finding my thesis and using my evidence to support it. Also working on intertwining Dweck and L and H in one paragraph instead of putting them into separate paragraphs. I can work on summarizing and using my evidence to show my point of view.  
  • I need to better integrate my quotes along with using them to build up and help readers understand my thesis. I also have to divide up my paper so that each paragraph supports my argument that Dweck’s solution is bad compared to L and H.
  • I also have to work on changing up my style of sentences so that it is not just the same simple sentences but some complex ones. 
  • Then finally go back to the detail work of grammar, workings, and etc. 
• Using the guidance from your peers, and put your overall perspective (viewpoint/argument) into a sentence or two. How will you help your reader “get” your perspective?
  • Dweck, Lukanioff and Haidt have similar topics about how the educational system is sensitizing their students but each has different solutions to help the students. Dweck’s solution is ironic because it promotes a reward system making students work dependant on a reward while Lukanioff and Haidt talk about how college students are hypersensitive to uncomfortable situations but should embrace the situation to learn and be prepared for it in the real world where people will not coddle them.